Y Wednesday, July 05, 2006Y
12:05 PM
last weekend i was @ my best bud's engagement ... im so happy for her ... prob in 2 yrs time , she wld be settling down ... helped her with the preparations and i did too help in dolling herself up ... she looks so sweet and simple on that day ... * luv ya swits *
@--> back to spilling the beans <--@
what do i have to say about my own plans ?? beau has told his parents ... and they have talked to me about it ... guess now , jus waiting for the talk between the elders ... hopefully the dec plans will go smoothly ... i think im pretty prepared to embark into brand new era of commitment ... the path will be challenging and tough ... but alongside with my prayers to ALLAH , i know he will guide me thru ... praying for the best ...
@--> again im being a wrecker to my own self <--@
to be honest , my mind is helter-skeltering now ... aint sure why ... guess been thinking too much lately ... fear of my own self ... not sure if i will be still me in years to come ... will the character and attitude remains unchanged ?? ... or will i grow up maturely as a lady ... feelings and emotions are the major reasons why ... what do i have to explain ?? ... i cant write in this state of mind ... scared i might spilled on irrelevant words and expressions ... only prayers have helped me pull thru ... but still i aint sure of the main REASON WHY here ...
@--> quoting my feelings now <--@
I was discreet . I tried to curb my own emotions and to discourage hers . For my own part I fear that I betrayed myself , for the eye becomes more eloquent when the tongue is silent .
My heart lived in no cherished secrets of its own, but in feelings which it longed to share with all the world .
I have plenty of courage , I am sure . All i need is confidence in myself . There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger . Hence true courage lies in facing danger when we are afraid, and that kind of courage i have in plenty .
As long as the heart beats , as long as body and soul keep together , I cannot admit that any creature endowed with a will has need to despair of life . I may brave human laws , but i cant resist natural ones .
If i have a conscience , i will suffer for my mistake . That will be my punishment , as well as the prison for me .
