Y Wednesday, July 26, 2006Y
1:54 PM
i did talk to someone about the infatuation thingy ... and that someone was beau's sis ... she was pretty understanding ... we talked for quite a while ... suprisingly she told me about her experience with INFATUATION ... that time she was already engaged ... the guy was going to be married that time ... weird huh ... and the infatuation sort of turns out to be real feelings ... but situation and position didnt allow it to happen .... she was pretty sad when he got married ... she said again sometimes u didnt get the kind of treatment from ur beau ... this causes the feeling of loneliness and frustrations with respective beau ... ure jus feeling sick and tired facing the same old shits ... changes not happening ... hence u seek comfort and peace of mind from someone else ... for a moment u want to be out from the real world ... taking a small step into the world of fantasy ... but then u tend to forget once u take the small step , u will be taking more big steps forward ... and in the end , u will realise it will be hard to get out from the situation ....
so thinking about what she adviced me , i think of it for myself ... she told me , " u owned ur happiness ... u seek it for urself ... and happiness is priceless ... at times u have to be selfish towards people surrounding u ... and pamper urself with all u loved ... do things in ur way ... dont let anyone stand in ur way ... " hence what choices am i left with ... am i going to listen to my voice of concience ?? clueless and speechless ... *helter-skeltering*
she told me this too " when u decide to take the small step , remember if something bad was to happen , u will end up choosing one or loose both " ... *deep in thoughts* guess i need a deep soul-searching ... as the truth is im emotionally tired ... need a break from the old craps and changes which are not happening ...
im pausing again now ... to be continued .... *frustrated yet smiling & helter-skeltering*
