anyway i did some retail therapy yesterday ... bought myself an OP slipper ... nice , black with colourful flowers and glitters ... its $23 ... then bought a skirt @ Bossini , $29 ... like it to the max , as i can wear it to work and casual too ... a big saver as well , as the ususal price was $69 ... *smilez* ... thats for a day of shopping ...
have not been thinking much past few days ... as i don wanna flood my thoughts wit those for the time being ... maybe when im really prepared to think about all those , i will need one quiet corner to start sorting them up ... *sigh* ... why am in such confusion lately ... *slap forehead hard* ...
*frustrated yet smiling again* .. will be back soon .. now i need a getaway ... discontinued for now ...
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life
she said again sometimes u didnt get the kind of treatment from ur beau ... this causes the feeling of loneliness and frustrations with respective beau ... ure jus feeling sick and tired facing the same old shits ... changes not happening ... hence u seek comfort and peace of mind from someone else ... for a moment u want to be out from the real world ... taking a small step into the world of fantasy ... but then u tend to forget once u take the small step , u will be taking more big steps forward ... and in the end , u will realise it will be hard to get out from the situation ....
so thinking about what she adviced me , i think of it for myself ... she told me , " u owned ur happiness ... u seek it for urself ... and happiness is priceless ... at times u have to be selfish towards people surrounding u ... and pamper urself with all u loved ... do things in ur way ... dont let anyone stand in ur way ... " hence what choices am i left with ... am i going to listen to my voice of concience ?? clueless and speechless ... *helter-skeltering*
she told me this too " when u decide to take the small step , remember if something bad was to happen , u will end up choosing one or loose both " ... *deep in thoughts* guess i need a deep soul-searching ... as the truth is im emotionally tired ... need a break from the old craps and changes which are not happening ...
im pausing again now ... to be continued .... *frustrated yet smiling & helter-skeltering*
Hatimu telah ku lukai
Maafkan aku wahai yang setia
Kerana aku kau menangis
Aku tidak bisa berkata-kata
Untuk memohon kemaafan darimu
Adakah aku masih layak bertahta
Dihatimu yang terluka
Apapun keputusan dirimu
Akan aku terima dengan hati terbuka
Andai jua perhubungan harus diputuskan
Kau senantiasa dihatiku ini .:][:.
but anyway , yesterday at aunt's place , as usual our ngaji lesson was cancelled ... all were angrossed talking and laughing about history days ... " mak2 kalo dah jumpa and berbual , mana ingat lain .. terkekek lah semua .. " lols ..
i shall put this to a hault now ... preventing the unnecessary craps ... haha ... klah , i think im gonna call beau now and make sure he goes out with me ... hehehehheheh *grinning* ... :p
.:][:. Papillio Garden Party White .:][:.
.:][:. Birkenstock Silver Madrid .:][:.
the 2 above sandals are purchases for the month ... *winkzz* ... the first one is best bud's choice and the second is MINE ... hehe =] ... getting excited to get our feet on them , pretty soon ... we saw this on yahoo_auctions ... and the seller is the one who will be making the orders and necessary procedures ... so both of us get excited ... w/o any hesitation and final thoughts , we ordered them ...
its cheap u know ... cause normal price for Garden Party White @ Wheelock Place (Birkenstock Boutique) is selling at S$99 & for Birkenstock Silver Madrid at S$89 ... in yahoo_auctions , is selling at S$69 (Garden Party White) & S$67 (Silver Madrid) ... big savers ... reason why they're cheap , as this will be a bizzare order on www.footshopping.com (Birks's origin - Germany) ... so the shipping cost will be shared among buyers , hence the price are cheap ... *smiling widely now *
as u know once u buy it in Singapore , price will includes tax, gst and stufss , tats why its freaking X ... hehe ... don u think both sandals are nice .. pretty simple and easy to match ... comfortable too ... casual outing wont be a prob now , as no matter what ure dressing is , the sandals will matched perfectly ... *cheers* ... so if any of u who's interested to purchase any of the birks , browse thru yahoo_auctions ... look out for the brand new ... normal orders will be made thru the website i mention above ... for more designs , check out the website , footshopping.com ... Click on country SINGAPORE ... so enjoy every1 ... we have got ours and waiting anxiously for the new sandals ... *winkz*
my everyday prayers are that may ALLAH help me thru , all the hurdles with confidence and faith ... may HE too blessed my life with the best ... i would or could never asked for more ... jus be content with what i have ... life may be pretty hard and unexpected , but at times , this hits me " Take it easy , life aint that complicated " .... *smilez*
financially , i have no comments ... still strying hard to sort it all up ...
thoughts wise , been a lot ... too many to mention ... *hmmm*
those closest have been great ... but jus helter-skeltering with one ... wonder what's wrong with it ... been searching for all the answers , but yet nothing's found ... sometimes told myself to ignore it , but it still keeps bothering ... and it gets freaking irritating ... wished i can jus cast all thoughts away ... and hey , guess what , still cant ... i really need some help here ... the only way out , as per advised , relax , close ur eyes , think positive and thoughts will be cast .... and im going to jus do that now and in future ... *frustrated yet smiling*
to be continued once again ... as for now , im sleepy ... need my POOH and a gd mind and soul rest ... *winkz*
Bertanyakan pada diri sendiri
Tiada jawapannya
Kadang-kala soalan-soalan itu juga
Lebih baik kalau tiada
Jawapan baginya
Kadang-kala soalan-soalan itu lagi
Tidak mungkin bisa dianggap
Sebagai suatu soalan pun
Dan akhirnya kadang-kala soalan-soalan itu
Semua ialah seperti membuat
Kita bangkit dari setiap kegagalan
Atau kekecewaan yang telah terjadi
Pada diri sendiri .:][:.
Im bored now @ work .. aint got nothing to do ... so im updating myself ... weekends jus been great ... on sat , went over to a best bud's kuzen best fren bday bash .. best thing we share the same bday .. haha ... she wanted to do it officially on June 26th , but too bad the chalet was fully booked ... hence the slot available is sat , July 15th ... went with my beau , best bud and her fiancee ... it was fun and great nite ...
Its beau 2nd time meeting best bud's fiancee ... didnt expect both could get along with each other pretty well ... 4 of us were laughing most of the time ... due to beau who cant stop TALKING ... he was like going on and on with his freaking craps and spouting nonsensical things ... " a contribution so small as to be laughable " lols ... i knew my beau's like that when he's around those he clicked ... but didnt expect him to go to that extent ... but guess its better that way , rather to see him "exploding" ...
the cake that sophie ordered for bday gurl , was so fancy and so nice ... bday gal was like so sayang to cut it ... but i did get myself a cupcake with the letter 'H' @ Hajar ... and best bud got hers as 'D' .... > only those who knew what 'D' stands for , lols < .... both of us had out pics taken with the cupcakes ... fun and farny !!
as nite falls , drove home ... dropped best bud's fiancee first and we continue the journey ... i didnt drive cause i was freaking sleepy and tired ... hahah , poor thing beau left with no choice ... few times he woke me up , forcing me to take over ... but i knew he loves me too much , which in the end he drove till we reach home sweet home ... i fell asleep throughout the journey , which left best bud chatting with beau ... hahha , so sorry GF ... but guess all of us had fun ...
pausing now ... will be back for more .... *smilez*
Meninggalkan kesan dalam diriku
Kesan yang menghampakan
Kesan yang membuahkan keresahan
Aku teringin tahu sebabnya
Kau bertindak sedemikian
Apa terjadi pada persahabatan
Yang kau dan aku hulurkan
Tiada lagi pesanan dan panggilan
Hanya sepi menyelubungi
Persahabatan kau dan aku kini
Aku cuba mencari kesimpulan
Mungkin kau terasa hati
Dengan sikapku dan kau
Tidak lagi sudi bertemankan aku
Aku menjadi bosan dan lelah
Dalam terus-terusan mencari
Jawapan atas yang terjadi
Kini hanya satu permintaanku
Seandainya sampai di sini
Persahabatan ini terjalin
Tanpa aku berhenti berharap
Tinggalkan pesan untuk diriku
Agar hilang sudah keresahan diri .:][:.
im so excited now to drive ... woooohooooooo !! my best bud too knew about it ... she was happy for me too ... she did said that , she wants to be the 1st , i would drive around with ... " haha , yesh u will idah , i would not leave u out ... "
today , some prayers will be recite by my grandpa ... "doa selamat untuk aku yang dah pass nie .." hah .. =] .. so thoughtful of my family ... thanks everyone for the support and encouragement after 2 failures ... i will have to plan now , yet another outing for all my kuzzens .. this is upon their request ... " time to bid goodbye to public transport , whahahaha LOL .. " insyaallah plans will rolled in , aight swits !!
im pausing here for now ... *big smilez , winkz*
last weekend i was @ my best bud's engagement ... im so happy for her ... prob in 2 yrs time , she wld be settling down ... helped her with the preparations and i did too help in dolling herself up ... she looks so sweet and simple on that day ... * luv ya swits *
what do i have to say about my own plans ?? beau has told his parents ... and they have talked to me about it ... guess now , jus waiting for the talk between the elders ... hopefully the dec plans will go smoothly ... i think im pretty prepared to embark into brand new era of commitment ... the path will be challenging and tough ... but alongside with my prayers to ALLAH , i know he will guide me thru ... praying for the best ...
to be honest , my mind is helter-skeltering now ... aint sure why ... guess been thinking too much lately ... fear of my own self ... not sure if i will be still me in years to come ... will the character and attitude remains unchanged ?? ... or will i grow up maturely as a lady ... feelings and emotions are the major reasons why ... what do i have to explain ?? ... i cant write in this state of mind ... scared i might spilled on irrelevant words and expressions ... only prayers have helped me pull thru ... but still i aint sure of the main REASON WHY here ...
> my sis safiah went back early as she has an event in school ... <
Begitu juga perjalanan hidup manusia
Tidak pernah lepas dengan dugaan dan cabaran
Cuma hanya terserah pada individu
Bagaimana cara mengatasi semuanya itu
Adakah kita harus menjadi lemah
tewas pada diri sendiri
atau menjadi tabah
Bersamaan iman dan semangat yang kental
Berbekal akal waras yang dianugerahkan
Kita akan menjadi tabah mengatasinya
Tetapi jika mengikut kehendak emosi
Sememangnya kita akan lemah
Dan terus-terusan menyalahi takdir
Kehidupan memerlukan pilihan
Sama ada yang baik mahupun yang buruk
Kita harus pilih diantaranya
Untuk terus dianggap individu yang kuat dan tabah
Sesungguhnya aku akan menjadi
Individu yang ingin dianggap tabah dan kuat
Menjalani setiap ketentuan ILLAHI .:][:.
Tabahlah wahai hati
Ku sedar , kau seumpama kaca yang hancur berderai
Disebabkan sebuah kekecewaan
Apakah mungkin akan pulih menjadi sekeping hati yang satu ?
Siapakah yang harus dipersalahkan ?
Sebuah hubungan suci yang terbina , musnah
Disebabkan seorang insan yang tidak tahu menghargai
Hanya pandai berkata-kata manis
Namun hakikatnya pahit bak hempedu
Dia , insan yang bernama Lelaki
Datang memberi harapan setinggi langit
Memberi cinta dan kasih sayang
Akan tidak disangkakan , pergi meninggalkan bekas
Yang tidak akan pernah hilang dari hati seorang wanita .:][:.
Dengan arus perasaanku ini
Germersik suaramu
Masih menggetarkan naluriku
Helai tawamu
Bersama tutur bicaramu
Senantiasa mengasyikkan
Dan mendamaikan
Wajarkah aku
Berperasaan begini terhadapmu
Yang nyata kau
Bukan milik diriku lagi
Namun aku
Tidak akan pernah tewas
Akan ku cuba
Melenyapkan perasaanku ini
Walaupun pahit
Biarpun amat melukakan hatiku
Agar tiada airmata
Yang akan menitis-nitis lagi
Hanya kerana harapanku
Yang ingin memilikimu kembali
Sesungguhnya YA-RAHIM bersamaku .:][:.
Kehadirannya sebagai seorang teman
Tidak pernah sekali bersua muka
Wajahnya aku lihat hanya sekali saja
Aku dan dia tidak pernah berhubung
Hanya di alam maya menjadi perutusan
Perkenalan baru kini menimbulkan sesuatu
Ada persamaan antara dia dan aku
Tiba-tiba hadir suatu perasaan dalam hati
Yang sukar untuk aku mentafsirkannya
Adakah mungkin aku sudah jatuh hati ?
Atau barangkali hanya sekadar hanyalan ?
Seandainya perasaan itu benar
Adakah aku berlaku adil pada yang teristimewa ?
Dia yang sudah lama bertakhta di hati
Dia yang senantiasa menyanyangi aku
Ya Allah
Leraikan lah kekusutan hatiku ini
Berilah aku kekuatan untuk terus setia
Agar tiada sesiapa yang akan terluka
Keputusan kini hanya pada diriku
Setelah bermunajat pada yang esa
Kini aku berani menyatakan
Perasaan itu sekadar kekeliruaan
Aku akan tetap dan terus setia
Kerana dialah yang aku sayangi
Tiada yang lain di hatiku
Itulah kebenarannya , kini dan selamanya .:][:.
.:][:. Di kala hati ku merintih , menangis kerana terluka
Kau hadir dalam hidupku , memberi sinar cahaya
Kau menghulurkan tanganmu , tanpa keraguan
Untuk mengongsi persahabatan denganku
Sikapmu yang prihatin amat aku hargai
Tutur bahasamu , mendamaikan jiwaku
Aku amat senang berteman denganmu
Namun hati ku tetap menolak kehadiranmu
Aku sedari kau ikhlas terhadapku
Tidak pernah sekali kau memaksa diriku
Tetapi bayangan si dia masih menghantui
Lalu bagaimana harus aku menerima dirimu
Kau menyakinkan , penerimaan diriku
adalah seadanya
Tetapi naluriku kuat menyatakan
kau akan menyesal
Hari berganti hari
Siang berganti malam
Lelah mencari sebuah jawapan
Untuk diberikan kepadamu
Sepanjang aku mencari ketenangan diri
Tibalah saat penentuan kau dan aku
Jawapan telah diberi
Dan
Penantian sudah berakhir
Dengan ini
Sekali lagi aku berdoa , di dalam hati
“ Ya Allah , aku telah meminta petunjukmu
Agar aku diberi kekuatan dan juga ketenangan
Aku tahu jodoh dan matiku
Adalah di tanganmu
Seandainya dia adalah ketentuanmu
Berkatilah hidup kami kelak
Dengan segumpal harapan
Aku pasrah menerima segalanya
AMIN YA-RABBAL A’LAMIN “ .:][:.
Saat pertama kali bersua denganmu
Ada satu debaran yang aku rasakan
Satu debaran yang tidak pernah aku rasai sebelumnya
Tika itu , hati dan naluri seakan bersetuju
Engkau cukup sempurna di ruang mataku
Wajahmu menggambarkan perwatakkanmu yang lembut
Senyumanmu yang bisa menikam ke sudut hati
Namun kau pergi , meninggalkan bayanganmu
Dalam diam aku mendoakan pertemuan kedua
Allah maha mengetahui akan segalanya
Pertemuan kedua kala ini membawa ke sebuah persahabatan
Hati aku berbunga keriangan
Aku menangis kegembiraaan
Mensyukuri atas kesempatan ini
Hanya dari pemberian illahi
Tanpa aku menyedari
Perasaan sayang dan cinta hadir dalam hatiku
Sikapmu yang prihatin
Membuatku rasa selamat berada disisimu
Tanpa aku berhenti berharap
Kau datang kepadaku membawa satu hajat
Aku kaget tanpa sebarang kata-kata
Hajatmu ingin menyunting diriku sebagai surimu
Aku panjatkan doa setulusnya ke hadrat illahi
Bersama dengan hajatmu dan harapanku
Kita melayari hidup kini sebagai suami isteri
Dan kenangan pertemuan , persahabatan
Diantara kau dan aku
Tersimpul rapi dalam hati dan ingatanku .:][:.